Reflection can be such a wonderful and powerful component in life. Every couple years, I sit back and reflect upon what I’m doing, who I am, where I am going, and who I hope to be and how I hope others view me.
Through reflection and maturity I look back and the person I was in my 20s I do not know anymore. The person I was when I first was married is not me now. The person I was before June 2016, has evolved to become who I am now. I am in constant battle with myself over who I perceive I am and who I am. Who I hope to be and what I will be. I embarrass too easily and am too tenderhearted which has led me to make judgements that were incorrect or too sudden. I am not the best mother, or wife, daughter, or housekeeper. I am not the best friend, or nurse, or communicator. But I have found when I thought I was the best, I didn’t learn. I didn’t learn what would matter…only what was important to me in my mind at that time which has proven itself unimportant now.
Many times I feel stagnant, like life is moving all around, seasons are changing, children are growing and I am playing on the sidelines. My mind uninvolved in really attaching to listen and be available in the present.
As I enter this new time in my adult life I hope to be more willing to see things as they are and not as best or worst scenerios. As I have learned through reflection over the past couple years: it can always be better but true to that, it can also always, always be worse.